Atriz, blogueira, modelo e toda tatuada. Essa é a Sara X Mills!

Aposto que você já viu algum vídeo da Sara em ritmo de Jingle Bells ou até dançando Mozart, com os seios. SIM! E no no melhor estilo “Elvira, a Rainha das Trevas”.

Recentemente Sara passou por uma cirurgia para a retirada dos seus implantes de silicone, de acordo com ela, por causa dos 10 anos de validade desde sua cirurgia, ela não pretenderia ficar renovando e passando pelo mesmo estresses que teve na primeira vez.

Conheçam hoje a loira que arranca suspiros por toda a internet – mas cuidado para não ter um ataque cardíaco!

(Part 1 of 2) Today I want to talk about anxiety, autism, and how I manage to “do what I do” when I live with both of these. At LEAST once a week I hear how I can’t possibly have anxiety, or be on the autism spectrum, because I can model and be mostly naked on the internet and even gogo dance in loud, crowded clubs. These individuals, none of whom are ever professionals in the field of psychology and/or neuropsychology, think that because they know one autistic person and/or know people with anxiety, they’re the world’s leading expert on one or both of these topics. Much moreso, they are unassailably convinced that they know more from looking at my social media than the ACTUAL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS who have diagnosed me with these conditions over the years. There are many many things that are considered a “symptom” of autism and you are more than welcome to google them for more information; most people can relate to at least a few but having a gotta-catch-'em-all collection of these wins you a spot on the autism spectrum. Between autism and anxiety, I’ve felt like I’ve spent a lot of my life in a glass box. Imagine being able to see and hear other people, to be right in the middle of them, but never really understand them or take part. It’s not that I feel ignored, but just that I can’t seem to actually connect. Ten years ago I realized that as SARA X I could embrace my feeling of being in a fishbowl, put on an act, control how I was seen… I could COMMUNICATE in my own way, and I could at the very least entertain these people who were otherwise so mysterious to me. I managed to make a living by doing this when other jobs would overwhelm me or frustrate me to the point of a meltdown. More recently I’ve figured out how to not hide behind a public persona, but to incorporate and talk about the more anxiety-ridden parts of me that are 100% Sara Mills.

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I wanted to post this here because I think it's sort of funny… I took this to share in a group of women sick from breast implants to ask if anyone else there had experienced one of the symptoms I am. Dudes see this and they're like "NICE TITS" (at least one dumbass won't read this and will comment that anyway, or will say it to try to be cute) but I look at this and all I can see is how swollen my left side is, how much it hurts, and how afraid I am that I might have a rupture that's spread silicone throughout my body. I see my younger self, content with my original appearance but willing to undergo a life-changing surgical procedure because it was part of the "uniform" of my job. Last but not least I see thousands, if not millions, of women who are willing to undergo surgeries or crash diets or quack supplements to try to achieve an insane standard of some frozen-in-time 20 year old's body that's rarely, if ever, even found in nature. I see men & women disparaging their bodies and the bodies of others with comments like "pancake boobs" and "National Geographic titties". I tell you what – our society could learn a lot from any woman who walks around topless and feels no shame for not measuring up to some bullshit societal ideal. I can't wait to be able to join that number, scars and all. Two weeks til #explant!

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Here's a #TBT #throwbackthursday from a year ago – I originally posted this Birth of Venus inspired pose to talk about how nudity is not inherently sexual (the post is still up if you want to read it). While I don't feel ashamed or bad about ever having gotten implants, I can 100% say I never imagined the future repercussions. The one I'm going to talk about today is being constantly hypersexualized. I definitely noticed over time how much more I (and other women) are automatically sexualized with larger breasts. I'm 5'9" and 125 pounds. Without breast implants I was always just considered tall, thin, and kind of goofy. I didn't start doing social media stuff or get back into modeling until several years after getting implants, at which time I slowly began to realize how hypersexualized EVERYTHING that I did had become – not that I don't take or enjoy taking sexy photos sometimes in my modeling, but there was no damn chill. I could forget being silly or doing art nudes that I enjoyed because everything was now about my boobs. I couldn't "turn it off" so to speak, unless I wore a muumuu or something. I don't feel that anything proves my point any harder than making a completely bonkers ridiculous video where I flexed my pecs (a la Terry Crews) and having it go viral because, unlike Terry Crews, me standing completely still & flexing my pecs with a top on (also unlike Terry Crews) was immediately sexualized and sent what seemed like the entire male internet (ok maybe only like 85%) on a frenzy of trying to dig up (or even fucking fabricate) nude photos of me. Probably forever now when I talk about nudity not being sexual the answer is "well you bounced your tits to music what do you expect?!" Thankfully at least I was able to capitalize on it 🙃 So yeah. I'm ready for these suckers to be out. I now have a much greater respect for and understanding of women who didn't choose to have large breasts & have had to deal with shit like this forever. 13 days til #explant!

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I can't find any good photos to post right now so instead, have a weird one #windowlicker

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Hey @Instagram – not violating your community guidelines 🙌🏼 just showing what I've been through 💪🏼 if you read my last post this says the same thing: AM I AGAINST BREAST IMPLANTS? Yes and no. I’m all for anyone getting breast implants if that’s what they really want to do but I implore everyone to put more thought into it than I did. IMO it’s not worth playing roulette with your health. In addition to having to be replaced every 7-10 years or whenever there is a complication (and there often are and that's $$$ to fix) I developed a laundry list of autoimmune symptoms that have screwed my life up since ALMOST RIGHT AFTER IMPLANT and so have THOUSANDS of other women. If you want to read more about it, check out healingbreastimplantillness.com 🙌🏼 I don’t claim to know the why behind it but so many women get theirs out and get better – it took me six years to make the connection and one week after #explant I ALREADY FEEL BETTER. To be honest I feel pretty kewl too, because I get to be subversive as FUCK and go backwards from what’s currently the norm, especially as far as Instagram seems to go, from “perfect” fake tits to my post-mastopexy zombie bewbz (I had a lift you guys, that’s what the gigantic incisions are, from skin removal). Serving up fresh disappointment & anger to the guys who followed me literally only to see my fake tits! They be like #unfollow I also don’t agree with the idea that we have to look a certain way to have the “right” bodies or the “right” boobs. Thanks to the internet we now have much more representation of different bodies and I LIKE THAT SHIT. I cringe when I see someone say they “need” implants or they “need” to lose x amount of weight before they can do something they really want to do. Fuck all that. Express yourself. Be you. I’m showing the world my #frankenboobs, now it’s your turn. #teamnotits #ittybittytittycommittee #fuckyeahsmallboobs

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Sunday night in bed with #nomakeup & I feel good! I have SUCH an exciting week coming up 🙌🏼 my incisions are all closed now & the next step in healing is to begin massage and get the scars to fade 😸 when I lay down like this the pocket where my implant was is still really visible too 😹 I have a shoot tomorrow then my one month post op with my doctor Tuesday, fingers crossed I get the ok to stop wearing sports bras 24/7 so I can finally wear some of the 18474929158 cute bralettes I've stockpiled 👀 hope you all had a lovely weekend, and of course if you're new here or just late to the party you can totally click the link in my bio OR visit YouTube.com/saraontheinternet to answer all your questions about my #explant 😽 all negative comments will be deleted 👋🏼 #bodypositive #scars #selflove #frankenboobs #ittybittytittycommittee #fuckyeahsmallboobs

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This sums up how I feel about all the chores I have to do on a sunny LA #Saturday! On the plus side I do get to go to the live recording of the @cracked podcast this evening, so that's neat! And next week at this time I will be in #Calgary for the @calgarytattooshow!!!! What are you up to on this lovely (or maybe not so lovely where you are) Saturday? #Lipstick is @narsissist #Schiap with @beccacosmetics #ChampagnePop tapped into the center #Eyeliner is @inglot_cosmetics #Duraline and black shadow #Eyeshadow underneath eyes is @makeupforeverofficial Star Powder #MOTD #tattoo #tattoos #ink #inked #sassy #blonde #hashtags Photo by my love @pbclarkphoto PS I definitely have my arm up like this two photos in a row – oops

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